PERFECT BABY

We made the perfect baby
He’s better than yours
And we’re ever so smug

“Sometimes he sleeps through the night,” we chant like drones
Grinning at the sheer dumb luck of it

When he smiles, all gums and dribble
Tiny laced fingers and baby blues
Our hearts weep like willows
Our eyes pop like corks

“Good feeder
“Loves the water
“The crying’s incredibly reasonable
“He’s like a third limb,” we caw

Seasoned well-wishers line up to tell us how hard it’ll be
“Wait till he gets to six months,” they cluck
Chops frothing, lips smacking
“He won’t sleep in that sling / travel that well / lie in your arms forever

Our eyes lock
We smile politely in unison
Cos it’ll never happen to us

Sketch by NanaJo